Chaotic light phenomenon in northern homosphere

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Germany, Muenster - Yesterday at about 01:12 am a mystery weather phenomenon spooked europe. People that witnessed the event that lasted 1 Hour and 9 minutes reportedly saw flashing lights and electrical currents but much bigger . All 0815 contacted witnesses that they were able to talk to so far proved very "difficult" to communicate with. "They seem to recover from something that i can only describe as a manic fever that puts the body in shock and the ability to express themselves via body or word to that of a 3 year old. The unlikely events that we conclude from these tiny bits of information via rorschach test and picture slides make us and most other investigative workers that we spoke with believe that this was a premier field test of a new biological weapon that seeks to dismantle the enemy via tripping. (Josephina Gobbels, Heir E. Bolls Nig. A institute, German bureau of investigation and some non investigation, Cologne). No terrorist group has yet claimed being the attacker. A group of Netherlands rising community of "furries" have yet told every TV station in Germany, Swiss and Netherland that they rate this "bamboozle skrrr bedazzle" a "most dope experience", as they call it. President of Netherlands (claims to be king but lol its NL) and avid Anime Fan Mark Rutte commented the same 4 Chan thread with "thats so kawaii :3 ayaya ayaya pussy in my ass Roku Kyuu uWu". (More on Page 6 and 9, def not 7 or 8)

Dies ist eine satirische Website. Nimm es nicht ernst Es ist ein Witz.